A tale of two lambs...

It was the best of lambs, it was the worst of lambs, it was the fat on flesh, it was the lean on meat, it was the epoch of marbled fatty glory, it was the epoch of not one ounce, it was the season of spring, it was the season of winter, it was the spring of hope for a perfectly roasted leg, it was the winter of despair over disappearing sauce, we had everything before us, we had...well...everything still before us (I got nothing here, the tables were both full of magnificent food), we were all going to direct fatty lamb heaven, we were all going direct (I so fought the urge to write directly. I did. directly) the other way, the lean way.

There was no king with a large jaw or queen with a plain face but there was a kosher lamb with a large bone and lots of nice marbling on the throne (well, platter actually) of our royal home, there was an organic lamb with plain, unmarbled meat on the throne (well, platter actually) of our royal chalet. In both places it was clearer than crystal to the lords (well, us, but we can be lords, and ladies, of course) of the homes and chalets (to be honest I think it was just me but whatever) that things in general were settled for ever (forever!).

Pardon? say you? What in the heck am I talking about? you ask?

Well, I have a tale of two lambs. I have a lesson learned.

And what say you are these tales and lessons? Well, don't hate me but I'll tell you tomorrow. Okay? Tomorrow! I swear!  ...

To daydream ...

Cue intro...and ...action! Happy Wednesday dear readers. I have finally made it out. Ish. Truth be told dear readers, for the last several weeks I have been imprisoned at home under the vice grip of a mighty supergerm and said supergerm's minion army of ...well ...supergerms! Surrounded by tall, white mounds of crumpled tissues strewn about like dunes in a desert, glossy red lozenges, mustard colored tinctures, cups, glasses all sprinkled about on the table that had become my base-camp... all evidence of unprecedented (or at least super nasty) malaise, I've spent my days...and as if that were not enough, I am also, of course, burrowed eyeball deep  in my mid winter IhatewinteruninspiredlazycrankysleepysickfreezingunderblanketItotallyhatewinter, mood. 

One early Monday morning though, the sun poked me in the eye. Literally. And no. It was not the solar storm. I gave this intruding ray of light the fish eye, peeked out from under my blanket and began intense self coercion strategy to get myself out of the house. It worked. I dragged my resistant (resistant like my spirit was hanging onto the couch with both hands while I had its feet type of resistant) body to my beloved market (which I have been neglecting for weeks and weeks) and simply sat down. And then the most magical thing happened. Dear readers, have you ever seen those movies where someone has been trapped in a dark cave with no human contact for like ever and then they finally (and dramatically) get rescued and then they get above ground and somehow they are sitting in this beautiful grassy field and the sun is shining on their dirty pained face and they like (I don't know what has gotten into me and using valley girl "like" for the last few days but anyway) squint up and try to smile? Well, that was me. Minus everything I just said. I was just sitting at the market. But it felt just like that! 

As I started to look (squint) around, it was as if the cloud lifted and I, was that person in that field (market, whatever).The sun was shining all around me through the large, beautiful windows. I was surrounded by farmers and people I have missed since the summertime. It was quiet because it was quite early. My jasmine flower scented green tea was steaming away and the homemade yogurt I had just bought was topped with strawberries. People were smiling. Hugging one another (I swear!). I found my inspiration dear readers. This beautiful little (arguably the biggest outdoor market in North America but whatever. It's my little market) market is the place that feels completely right for me. I feel at home. I am reminded of soul and spirit. Of hard work and of beauty. Of deliciousness. Of a warmer time to come. Of how lucky we are that we have people who work the land. I have to tell you though that in all honesty dear readers I was completely shocked to see all these little blue Fleur de Lys (I really hope I got that right and that's what is in fact on our flag ...) everywhere beckoning and saying we grew here! In warmer times but we're still here! Beets, potatoes, squash, garlic, dried herbs, hearty winter greens, eggs, cabbage, apples, parsnips, carrots...all here, all from us, all for us.  It was lovely, dear readers. Just lovely. A frosty, brilliant, beautiful, mid winter, lovely early Monday morning.

So all this to say, my current aspiration is to become one of those market people. You know the ones. They arrive most mornings, early, set up shop on the coffee house patio, laptops perched on table, coffee's (or tea in my case) splendid aroma steaming from cup, getting ready to write, create, strategize or... to daydream.

Now, I do have a recipe. And it is one I love dearly.

Time to dish. 

Dearly loved, Lamb Orzo

Here is what you need:

• About 1.5 kilos of lovely lamb shoulder, cut into 4 cm cubes
• 2.5 onions, sliced
• A small handful of oregano (I used the one I dried from the summer. It was awesome.)
• .5 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
• 2 whole cinnamon sticks, broken in half
• Good olive oil, as much as you like (coat the bottom of your pan)
• Can of good tomatoes, chopped (I get mine whole and then chop them myself)
• A liter and a bit of chicken stock 
• Lam bones (for extra flavor)
• A few marrow bones (yep, for extra flavor)
• Lots and lots of Parmesan, please, grate it yourself
• Good crusty bread
• Good full bodied wine

Here is what to do:

1. Heat oven to 375. Cut the lamb into 5cm (ish) chunks, then brown (it and your bones and marrow) over high heat. Then place in a wide casserole dish. Add your onions, oregano (yey!), cinnamon sticks, ground cinnamon and olive oil, and toss them around in there until nice and coated. Add salt and pepper. Then bake! Uncovered, for 45 mins, stirring once halfway. Just once...

2. After this, take it out and pour over lovely chopped tomatoes and your chicken stock, cover tightly, then return to the oven for 2 hours, until the lamb is almost falling apart

3. Once done and beautiful, remove the cinnamon sticks and then stir in the orzo. Cover again and back in the oven we go for about 25 mins, stirring halfway through. Just once. The orzo should be cooked and the sauce luscious and bubble. Then, the final magic. Take that awesome Parmesan and grate it all over the pot. Bam! Serve with crusty bread and lots of good full bodied wine. Bam!

I LOVE TO WRITE! I LOVE YOU DEAR READERS! Yes, you really are seeing this. No, there is no good reason why it is here.

Plus an hour ...

You didn't think that I would let 2011 go out without a recipe did you? I am totally sneaking this in so I have to make it quick but there was no way I was going to let this year go by without sharing this with you. And what else could I possibly do but leave you with a real, honest to goodness Panatone recipe.

That takes a week to make. Plus an hour.

What?!

It's a big recipe. It requires time and love. It is totally traditional and completely amazing. Just like I hope your new year is going to be.

Time to dish.


Insanely time consuming completely amazing Panatone
(Cuccina Italiana) 

**So the gist of it is this: You make a cool starter, which takes a week to develop, and there is some lengthy leavening, and then, there is Panatone heaven.**

Here is what you need for the starter:

• 2-2.5 cups of unbleached all purpose flour (measured out in 1/2 cup portions)
• 2-2.5 cups of whole wheat flour (measured as above)
• 3-3.5 cups of room temperature water (measured out in 3/4 cup portions)

Here is what you need for the Poolish (Pre-Ferment):

• 1/4 cup of unbleached all purpose flour
• 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of room temperature water
• 1/4 teaspoon plus 1/8 teaspoon of active dry yeast

Here is what you need for the dough:

• 3 and 3/4 cups of unbleached all purpose flour (more if needed)
• 1/2 a cup of sugar
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 and 1/2 teaspoons of fine sea salt
• 2 and 1/2 teaspoons of active dry yeast
• 3 large eggs
• 6 large egg yolks
• 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons of whole milk (no skimping here with less fat okay...)
• 1 and 1/4 cups of currants, soaked in warm water (or warm rum) for 10 minutes and then drained
• 6 ounces of candied orange peel cut into small dice
• 2 and a 1/2 tablespoons of honey
• 3 tablespoons of quality extra virgin olive oil
• Finely grated zest of three lemons and three oranges
• 1 vanilla bean split lengthwise, scraped and reserved
• 14 tablespoons of cold, unsalted butter

Phfeww! Are you guys still with me? Okay, here we go.

Here is what to do for the starter:

1. One week before your Panatone dough adventure starts, get a bowl out and mix the following: 1.5 cups each of the all purpose and whole wheat flours and add 3/4 cups of the water. Stir into a batter like mix. Then cover with a cheesecloth and leave it alone for three days. Yep. Three. You will smell it baby!
2. Now, uncover, stir together, and throw out half the mixture. This is the beginning of your started dears..Now add again as above 1.5 cups of each of the flours and 3/4 cups of the water, give a stir, cover and leave it for two days.
3. At this point repeat the "feeding" process (same quantities of everything) and leave it for another 1-2 days until the starter is "ripe". It will bubble and smell sweet and lactic, kind of like yogurt, and a small spoonful will float in water.

Here is what to do for the Poolish (night before baking the Panatone):

1. Get another bowl and mix the flour, water and yeast and let stand at room temperature for 10-12 hours.

Here is what to do for the dough:

1. Yet another bowl must come out. Preferably one of an electric mixer or your hands will be really tired...Once out, blend together flour, sugar, salt and yeast. In another bowl, combine 3/4 cups of starter, all of the poolish, whole eggs, egg yolks, and milk.
2. With your mixer on low, slowly add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix until everything belongs together. About five minutes ...Let the dough rest for about 20 minutes...
3. Now, in another large bowl(have you kept count of how many we are at here?) mix together currants, candied orange peels, honey, oil, lemon and orange zests, and vanilla and put it aside.
4. Butter time! Cut the butter into medium pieces, put between two pieces of saran wrap, then flatten out. Return flattened butter to fridge. Come on now! Breathe! You can do it!
5. Mix the rest of the dough on medium speed for 6-8 minutes. With the mixer running, add the butter piece by piece until all is incorporated and the dough is smooth.
6. Then take the bowl out of the mixer, using your hands now, add the currant mixture to the dough to incorporate completely, then take dough and put it in a huge bowl, cover and let rise for two hours.
7. Turn dough once, then cover and let rise again for about another 2 hours.

It's time to bake!!! Haleluiah!!!

1. Coat your Panatone molds with butter and put molds on a baking sheet. Decide your kick ass dough into rounds and place in molds about half way. Let the dough rise until it reaches the height of the papers, about 1-2 hours..I swear, we will bake it...
2. Heat the oven to 400 with rack in the middle and bake! For about 15-17 minutes. Keep an eye on it, you'll know ...

Then dear readers, take it out, let it cool, and enjoy something from a time gone by.

Love and happy 2012,

Oana

What I learned ...

Well, here it is. Three days to go until the New Year. A stack of late Christmas cards on my table. Patiently and knowingly (always late) waiting to be filled and mailed... Me, sitting in the kitchen being distracted by nightfall, snow and the blue lights outside ... reflecting (instead of getting to said cards) ... What a year it has been dear readers. Really. If I had to describe it in one word, that word would be scary. It is not a fancy word, but it is a word filled with truth.

Cards ...they so know they are going to be late ...

Distractions ...

This year has been a year filled with change and growth for me dear readers. Mostly in heart and spirit. Mostly because I had no choice. I've had to face many challenges and many fears. To look at life, people, relationships and myself in a light that I had never known before. And I had all the time in the world, in which to do it. My sabbatical is nothing like I thought it would be. I guess I kind of had an inkling of an idea that giving myself so much time on my hands after not having any for ..oh ..I don't know ..ever ..would have some kind of reflective, existential consequences but boy was I not prepared for the sheer physical and mental mind-bend of it all.

I'm going to share what I learned...it's personal, a little all over the place if you don't mind, and another scary thing to add to the proverbial list ...

This year dear readers, I learned to slow down. To take better care of my body because it is the only one I have and it feels really really good when I do. That I need to move. To sweat. To have screaming, kid like, heart pounding fun. I learned that I am very uncomfortable (like panic inducing uncomfortable) not having control and structure in work. I learned why. And to let that go a little more every day. I learned to be vulnerable. I learned to accept some of the not so pleasant parts of myself (yes, I have some :) because they are part of who I am. To soften up a little. To judge less. To be there for myself. I learned that I need to pay more attention to nature and light and cycles because they are a part of me and influence my well being tremendously. That I love rituals and marking the changes of time. I learned to talk about myself and that I would not burst into flames or die of shame if I did. That I cannot help sometimes no matter how hard I try. I learned that I cannot fix everything and that's okay. That I don't always have to be nice. That it is okay to be tired.

I learned to be okay with being scared, uncertain, in limbo and without a clear path for the moment, and to move forward anyway. I learned that everything I think I know (even the sealed in stone huge stuff) can change at any moment. And, that the human capacity for transformation and growth is a marvel.

Now, on to my dried flowers and other such things. I know I know, a little abrupt, but hey, a girl can only take so much heart on sleeve very public soul bearing. So, what I also wanted to share with you are some little things that put a smile on my face and remind me that things will be warm, bright and green again soon.

Time to dish ...in photos ...

Flowers in jars on counter tops ..

Braided garlic and fuschia  flowers hanging on ancient sandwich press ...

Dried flowers ...

Red berries on dark branches ...

Wreaths made out of grapevines with dried grapes still hanging on them ...

Big, beautiful, regular wreaths ...

Happy New Year dear readers. As old fashioned as it sounds, may all your dreams come true.

People will bow down ...

To get straight to the point, I am not a baker.

So. Not. A. Baker.

Proof: **I literally freaked out when shopping for this recipe and standing in the butter area I literally had to look five times at my phone because I was completely incredulous (I actually gasped) that these two, teeny, tiny cookie recipes could use that much butter. And the worst part was, as I left it hit me, I needed more butter, I had to double the recipes. It was nuts. And don't even get me started on the glucose and corn syrup ...Oh, and then when I realized I had to wait ... for the butter..room temperature butter...**.

Butter people ...so much butter ...

Back to story: I must say that I have always wanted to be a baker, to bake that is, but frankly, it scares me. The sheer preciseness of it all scares me. I naturally lean toward sublime chaos in the kitchen. The kind where you let your inspiration take you wherever it wants to that day. No holds barred. Aprons be donned it's going to get messy! You get the point. I am afraid of a whole cooking world that is so measured. So precise. So linear. So full of calories. Over the years, in attempts to gently nudge myself in the baking direction, I have bought baking related items, been given them as gifts and one by one, their fate awaited them. They were to live a lonely life under the kitchen sink (which I do not have at the moment). After some time went by, as it does, I would inevitably, and guiltily, pry open the door, look at them abandoned under the sink (I mostly, and guiltily, avoided their stares each time I opened the cupboards) and feel bad. For an object. I realize. Said bad feeling caused me to then head immediately for nearest charity to give sad unused baking items away... only to need them exactly one day after I had given them away because that was the day I needed to bake! Naturally.

This time though dear readers, it's really happening. I really need to bake (there's my friend's bazaar you see...) and I just gave away my kitchen aid super baking bowlmixercontraption thingie about two weeks ago and now I need it. I need it because I am baking some scary chocolate cookies and then some really scary chantrelle cookies. But I don't have it so my bare hands it is. And, I am doing it at the perfect time for someone with no baking tools and a baking phobia. The time during which I have no sink, no running water, a half finished countertop and no dishwasher (due to no running water). Because in my world, dear readers, when one is renovating a kitchen and has no sink, no running water, a half finished countertop and no dishwasher (due to no running water), it's time to bake 6 dozen cookies!

Anyhow, I could not make the scary chocolate cookies yet because it was just too much to bake both in said kitchenless kitchen (especially because it's a crazy recipe from Christina and requires advanced techniques perfect for the novice baker such as myself ...yes ...) so I made the ridiculous Chantrelle mushroom cookies I had a recipe for from an artisinal mushroom drier I met at this launch. And to make a flour filled, buttered out, nail-biting long story short, they are awesome. The bomb. I don't want you to be afraid of them because you will miss out on their awesomeness. Make them and people will bow down to your awesome cookie. Okay, too much sugar.

Time to dish.

The Bomb Chantrelle Butter Cookies

Here is what you need:

• 2 and a half cups of flour
• 1/2 a cup of gorgeous ground dried Chantrelles (grind in your spice or coffee grinder) they smell like heaven...I'm just saying ...
• 1 and a quarter cups of butter room temperature, nerve wracking wait ...I'm just saying ...
• 2/3rds of a cup of granulated sugar
• 1/2 a tablespoon of beautiful vanilla extract

Here is what to do:

1. Sift your flour, grind your mushrooms, then combine.
2. Wait for the butter to come to room temperature ...wait ...wait ...
3. Then mix together with the sugar and vanilla extract until a smooth yummy paste. Once you've done that and your arms hurt, mix in the dry mixture and combine until you have a super cool cookie dough. Then form into balls, squash a little and bake in a pre-heated 350 degree oven for 12 minutes. Put a timer on. I learned. Then try not to eat ten of them at the same time. I learned.