I will never forget the moment I started writing in this space. Well, not so much started, as pushed the publish button. Well, not so much pushed, as scrolled over the place on the screen where the publish area square is and, well, you get the idea ...
Anyhow, picture it, Barbados, 2010. If you know, you know.
There I was, sitting on the bed, staring at the computer. In Barbados! I know, I know, I should have been on the beach. Toes in sand! Breeze on face! Salt! And sun! On skin! But, I wasn't. I, dear readers, was, well, I already mentioned the was so now, let me get to the why. The why, was a piece of bread, a piece of butter, a chunk of garlic, a chunk of cheese and a potato. A potato chip, many, potato chips. I was sitting there staring, and wondering, if my first post, my first shared recipe, was actually going to be a chip sandwich. Could it be? Would I be ridiculed? Would people be aghast? Would anyone ever look me in the eye again? Would I be staring at this computer much longer, IN BARBADOS, instead of being at the beach?
As it turns out I wouldn't, because with trembling hands, and some nausea, I pushed publish, closed the laptop immediately afterward, and what is Starlight Moondance (nee dishchronicles), was born. Just like that, with what I now know to be a 'Chip Butty'. But mine was a gourmet one, of course. And technically, I had created it of course, because I had never heard of said Chip Butty before. Do I use too many commas?
I'm looking for my voice. Jarring segue, right? Not super smooth. I know. I am out of practice.
If you were wondering why I am here reminiscing about the origins of my blog, it's because I am looking for my voice again, dear readers. Do you remember it? I have so many things to say, about so many things and they are all in my head. And it has been so very long, since I have said them in anything other than a few sentences, in a post or comment. I deeply long for (and need) lengthy, rambling prose ... meandering words, long journeys on a page (screen, we all know it's screen but screen sounds much less poetic, no?) ...
But I am much out of practice, because for many years now, my brain has become accustomed to the short and the quick, when what I need, and long for, is the depth. I have recently weaned, after breastfeeding for about 6 straight years (there is that jarring segue again; that is how it is in my mind at the moment; jarring segues). It feels so incredibly personal to write this. It makes me feel very exposed. I wonder if it is even fully mine to share. When I think about it, I know it is not fully mine to share but I will share a little part, of my part of it. For now, I am going to go to bed.
Jarring end, right? Not super smooth. I know, I know. I am out of practice.
But not for long.
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| Weaning ~ Oil Pastel ~ By Me |
