Starlight Moondance: July 2019

A little magic merry go-round lives right beside the shoe store at the mall where dogs are allowed to roam in the summertime. So teeny tiny … complete and utter magic to little children, who still live in their heart. It has three or four little ponies on it, I don't remember exactly. Some pink, some purple, some blue ...

"Mommy mommy can I go on the merry go-round?!!" Sure my baby, I say. She jumps for joy and I reach for my change and put it in the slot.

In my smartphone days, I would immediately reach for my phone, take a few photos (to participate in the endless documenting of every single moment that we have all become addicted to) of her enjoying the ride and put it away. There may have been the little red number that signifies a text or a WhatsApp box on the top and whether I wanted it to or not, the visual alone, would have diverted my full and complete attention away from this moment. The flow of connection, of pure presence would have been broken. Even if for a moment. It matters deeply.

In my new chosen reality, smartphone free, I instead reached for my bag (addiction habit), realized there was no phone and smiled. I felt such relief that it was not there. What I did instead, was spend two full and complete minutes looking at my child. Deeply looking. Looking into her joyful eyes each time the horses came by and she looked into mine and showed me her soul. I was fully there to see it. To see her. To fully witness. Fully hers. Fully me. I didn't take a photo of the moment for later. I was completely in the moment as it happened and it was so rich and so deep that the memory brings tears to my eyes as I write this. I felt so blessed to fully give myself to my life in the here and now. To fully and completely see my baby's joy, to look into those beautiful eyes for a long time and free to delight in it uninterrupted.

I have (and have had for a long time now) an idea of how you are never fully where you are with smartphones, but I did not realize just how much richness and depth you lose in life. How much you lose in the experience of self, of your own internal journey.

How much you become the one constantly documenting instead of experiencing and more importantly, while you are documenting, your soul's journey is constantly being interrupted and subjected to the incessant brain pull of various messaging systems and notifications. And the thing is, we have forgotten how much we have lost, how rich and glorious life and connection and existence actually are, because most of us are never away from our smartphones for an extended period of time.

I'm not sure how to end this piece so I will end it just like this. Imperfectly.

Stay tuned for more.

Oh, also, here are some photos of what we have been up to over here ...