There are many moments in life that, if you notice them and let them guide you, will lead you to the secret paths and places of your heart. To the doors that want to be opened, to the spaces that want to be seen. Sometimes you are missing something so profoundly and you don't even know it. It was a beautiful and cold winter day. The first of December. The sun sparkled and warmed my face as I was driving to go and take some precious art to get laminated. I went in, explained, gave my things to the young man at the counter and left, hoping they were in good hands.
I got in my car and was instantly aware of a strong impulse. I needed to make a Romanian soup that my father used to make for us and I needed to make it immediately. It just so happened that I was a few minutes away from the Romanian store, so I drove there. I just went in for sausages. The smoked and dried kind that you put into Supa de Fasole. I was in the store for less then a minute when I felt this welling up inside of me. It was the music that was playing. I continued to look around for a few minutes and the music, this music, spoke deeply to my soul. It was unlike any Romanian music I had ever heard. I was so moved that I went to the counter and said to him in Romanian, "Excuse me, could you possibly tell me what is playing? I find it incredibly beautiful." He looked at me in an odd way, a good odd, and said in Romanian, "Yes it is 'Andra, Spectacol Traditional'. I said thank you and continued my shopping. The music continued its effect on me. I went up to the man again and said, very emotionally, how much I could not get over this music. He asked me how long I had been in Canada and complimented me on my Romanian given how long I have been here. I told him it was really nice to speak Romanian because I did not have any Romanian friends or family where I have the opportunity to speak it with. It was in that moment that I noticed a deep longing within me.
He asked I if I had been back to Romania recently. I told him it had been about 18 years since I had been back. And then I started crying. I said I'm sorry and turned around and walked to the refrigerator pretending to look at something while I composed myself. But before I turned away, I saw understanding in his eyes.
I gathered myself a little and went back and said I'm sorry again and it was the music that was bringing up many things for me. He said, "There is nothing to be sorry about, that is what it is supposed to do. It is one of the most beautiful Romanian pieces out there and is performed at Sala Palatului." Then he said, "You know it's the Romanian National Day today don't you?" I said, "No! I had no idea!" He said, "Yes, that is why I have this piece playing today. For this day. And do you know the traditional thing served on this day is Ciorba de Fasole cu Cirnati?" And I'm like, "No! That is exactly what I came in here to buy ingredients for today." He smiled knowingly again and said, "I'm going to give you some. We just made it. How many are you at home?" And he proceeded to fill two big, family size containers for me to take home. I said to him, "As immigrants, so far away from the land where we were born, our souls always miss something deep down I think. This place, this food, I want my children to know it. I want them to know the language, the land."
As I stood at the cash to pay, he said, "Before the pandemic, we used to organize a lot of community events. When the pandemic is over, you should come." I can't tell you how much that meant to me and how much his kindness and understanding filled my heart with gratitude. I thanked him so very much, told him I would come back with my family, we said, "La revedere", and I left, with a knowing that I was led here on this day for this experience.
This man, he is one of those special people in life who Know. Who See. Who Guide.
I have always believed that the place where we are born is in us. It is, in literal form, in the makeup of our cells. The land of a place, its sounds, its waters, its air, the moonlight in that place, the sunlight in that place, its food, all the things that nourished our grandmothers and mothers as we were being made and growing inside of them, that is what we are made of. If our lives take us far away from that place, even though our lives are wonderful in our new home, "home", the home of our cells, the home we are made of, is always missing a little. Sometimes a lot. Like today.
Happy National Day, my beautiful Romania.
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| My beautiful Romania. |
